Rank 4 of 14
The Baker
“Burns bread till she burns out.”
She didn't plan to inherit the village bakery, but rent was cheaper than therapy, and flour never judges.
Every morning starts before sunrise; every night ends with a half-frosted cake and three unanswered messages from her ex. She has mastered the art of multitasking: kneading dough, managing burnout, and trying not to scream when someone asks if she's “tried going gluten-free.”
In a world of clever machines and relentless deadlines, she keeps the ovens running, the coffee flowing and the kingdom's collective anxiety fed, one cinnamon bun at a time.
Four copies, four lines
There are four Baker cards in the deck, and each one says something different.
- Burns bread till she burns out.
- The chef might get the compliment, but the tip goes to the waitress.
- About to leave for a better job – for five years now…
- Onions don’t make her cry, unpaid overtime might.
In the game: beats ranks 1–3, loses to 5–14 and the Crown. See card ranks.
The real medieval baker
Bread was the main food for most people, so its price was tightly controlled. In England, the Assize of Bread and Ale set how much a loaf had to weigh, depending on the price of grain. A London baker caught selling short could be dragged through the streets on a hurdle (a wooden sled) with the guilty loaf hung around their neck.
A popular story says that's where the baker's dozen comes from: throw in a thirteenth loaf, just to be safe. Our Baker would throw in a thirteenth bun too, if anyone paid her overtime.
More medieval jobs, and the world they live in: the world of Crown Shuffle.
Want to play the Baker?
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